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Thursday, 28 September 2017

in the weekends

In the weekends i seen my dad. We went to the park and i played on the monkey bars.
At the park i made two new friends there names were harmani and layla. Harmani was 5 years old and layla was 6 years old. At the park i saw lora,shjon,jorga and loras mum and dad. I had to go home and go play outside on my bike or scooter. i played on my bike but then i had to go get my helmet so i could ride my bike.
I got bored playing outside on my bike so i went back inside. I had fish n chips for lunch, then i went to have a shower i hopped out of the shower.
I went into the lounge to watch some tv with my family. I watched home and away and shortland street. After shortland street my sisters had to go to bed. Then i went into my big sister's room to watch tv. I said to myself it is 8:30 time for bed
Then i said goodnight to everyone and went to bed.

  Goodnight           

5 comments:

  1. Hi shavarna
    WHat was your favorite thing about going to the park? and did you play or talk to lora,shjon,jorga
    Maybe next time you can add capital letters and full stops?
    Thanks Billie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Shavarna!

    This is such an interesting post! I really enjoyed how you added such descriptive words. This is kind of like a diary entry. I love how you set it up. Keep up the great posts!

    Bella N
    Rimu Class

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Shavarna


    I love this so much as in you are sharing your weekend. maybe next time next use a capital I.
    great post
    Chloe b
    Rimu class

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello Shavarna.
    My Name is Maddie I am a Year six in Rimu class.
    I liked how your story was in Chronological order ( that means it was in time of what happened )

    It was a very good piece of writing I enjoyed reading I would recommend rereading your writing in the future it help you pick up any little mistakes

    Kind regards Maddie

    ReplyDelete

To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what I had to say
3. Something thoughtful - how have you connected with my learning? Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.